Apocalypse
by daflippnay
Summary: It really is the apocalypse. Scrubs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and House, M.D. crossover. WIP.
1. What Could Be Worse Than New Jersey?

A/N: I think I've gone crazy.

* * *

JD awoke with a start as the bus suddenly lurched forward on a sharp turn, inertia causing him to pitch sideways and headlong into the window pane. A pained squeak tore from his throat as the side of his head and his shoulder hit the glass. He had half a mind to throw his hands out as the bus came to an abrupt stop, catapulting him into the seat in front of him. Behind the hazy cloud of pain, JD was aware of a reverberating bang that was shortly followed by a loud pop coming from somewhere below the vehicle. 

He nearly shot up in alarm as a large hand clamped over his wrist, but his features melted in relief when he turned his head to see Perry's grave expression under the flickering cabin lights. The older man retracted his hand to place an index finger to his thin lips, raising his eyebrows at him warningly.

There was a collective intake of breath and more than a handful of frightened yelps as the bus was suddenly pitched into a tense darkness.

"L-Listen up," a shaky, masculine voice piped up on the intercom. "You've_ got_ to do as I say," the voice in the darkness whimpered. "P-_Please!_ I'm going to turn on the lights again and file you out of this bus one by one… There are m-men out there, and you_ have_ to listen to them." His voice was hushed, almost haunting, "If any_one_ of you don't comply… We. All. Die."

"Wait!" a shrill voice broke the silence that felt so safe, and panicked murmurs resonated throughout the cabin, on the very brink of pandemonium. "Who… Who are you?"

"I'm…" the voice on the intercom trailed off, his voice becoming very small. "I'm so very sorry," he whispered.

The hum of the speakers cut off completely, and the silence was deafening. Startled gasps echoed throughout the bus as the lights flickered on, revealing a white balding man standing at the head of the bus. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down nervously as he surveyed the crowd of frightened faces before him. He turned away without another word, the coattails of the white lab coat he wore fluttering behind him as he made his way down the crowded aisle. The man's footsteps thunked heavily upon the stairs as he made his way out of the vehicle.

The intercom hummed to life again. "We'll start with row one, seats A through D," the same voice as before murmured. "Make your way out of the bus. _Slowly_. No sudden moves, and single file."

JD's eyes flickered towards Perry's direction, the questions in his eyes evident. He swallowed hard as the older man replied with a shrug of his shoulders and a shake of his head. Perry motioned to their carry on luggage laying askew on the floor with a terse nod of his head. JD nodded in reply, slowly bending forward to pull the other man's duffel bag and his backpack onto his lap. The younger man glanced back at his colleague, frowning when Perry touched his nose with a grimace.

JD raised his eyebrows at him questioningly, nearly flinching when the older man's hand darted out to swipe gently across his right brow. There was blood on his fingertips. JD's hands raised towards his face, tracing along his brow bones and surveying the dark red liquid that stained his fingers.

"Row two, seats E through H," the voice on the intercom announced breathily.

JD unzipped his backpack with shaking hands, digging around blindly and tugging the first piece of fabric his fingers skirted upon. Perry unscrewed the cap of his water bottle, the liquid sloshing over the dark, crumpled cloth clenched between JD's hands. The younger man pressed it to his right brow thoughtlessly, flinching as the wet fabric met his wound.

'_Alcohol?'_ he mouthed incredulously, and Perry just shrugged, the corner of his mouth quirked into an a grim half-smile.

JD shook his head in disbelief as he wiped at the open wound tenderly, grimacing all the while. He pulled the cloth away and pointed at the laceration, pantomiming a threading motion with his other hand. Perry leaned forward to inspect it, nodding his head as he pulled away.

"Row three, seats A through D," the intercom hummed again.

JD watched the passengers seated in front of them rise to their feet, a gruff looking man bracing himself against the plush chairs as he pulled forward and out of the row, his wooden cane meeting the floor with a soft thud. The man seated beside him followed after, his eyes raking over the crowd of nameless faces behind him before he finally tore away his gaze.

The dark haired man gazed at their retreating backs unseeingly, his stomach clenched in tense anticipation as they descended the stairs in single file. He flinched as the intercom came on again, glancing nervously in Perry's direction. The older man nodded, gripping the back of the seat in front of him, his knuckles white.

"Row four, seats E through H…"

JD's vision spun as he got to his feet. His colleague glanced at him as he teetered, grabbing hold of his shoulder and ushering him out onto the aisle. Perry's hand settled at the back of his neck as they made their way off the bus, the cold night air shocking their senses. There were two men waiting outside the door, both armed with shotguns. One of them glared at Perry, smacking the hand on the nape of JD's neck with the butt of his weapon.

Perry yanked his hand away with a hiss, inhaling sharply and glaring hard at the ground. They were ushered across the street and were left to stand on the sidewalk among the others. JD turned his head as he heard a soft, metallic click that was followed by the smell of butane and burnt cigarettes.

"Smoking's bad for you, y'know," the young doctor found himself blurting, blushing when a peroxide blond in a black trench coat gave him an inane stare.

"You're in a hostage situation and you're prattling on about what's bad for _me_?" he snorted, his British accent palpable. He took a drag of his cigarette, his black nail polish gleaming under the street light. "You've got bigger things to worry about, buddy boy," he muttered under his breath.

JD gave him a strange look of his own, barely registering the black blur coming at him until he found himself being lifted several inches off the ground, two pallid, grubby hands grasping at the lapels of his jacket. He flinched as he felt something scrape sharply at his neck - enough to break the skin - his breath coming out in short gasps as his hands found their way around his assailant's wrists.

"JD!" Perry hollered.

JD felt himself crumple to the floor suddenly, sneezing as a cloud of dust showered over him. He coughed, blinking as his hand traced over the pulse point on his neck. He trembled as something warm and wet met his fingertips.

Someone's hands were grasping the lapels of his jacket again, this time pulling him onto his feet. JD flinched as he watched the slightly shorter peroxide blond pull away from him with what looked to be a wooden stake in his hand.

And that's when all hell broke loose.

"That_ idiot_!" one of the men wielding a shotgun roared, dropping his weapon. There was a strange, dull crunching noise, and everyone around him began to take several steps back, gasping as his face contorted into something _monstrous_. He lunged for the man in the trench coat, and the peroxide blond ducked under his swinging fist, only to pivot and strike him in the back with the wooden stake. He let out an anguished growl before exploding into ash.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Perry snarled, stepping forward to pull JD out of the fray.

A small blonde girl ran up to them suddenly, glancing behind her at the peroxide blond before her eyes scanned over the frightened crowd. "Is everyone okay?" she asked. Before anyone could interject, she said, "Listen. Make a run for it, _now_. Go across the street and head for that shop." She pointed towards the only store with its lights on before grabbing Perry by the shoulder and pushing him in that direction. "Go! _Go!_"

Perry took a second to stare at her incredulously before yanking JD's arm and pulling him towards the shop. By the sound of clattering footsteps behind him, he knew that the rest of the gang were following. He reached the door, the sounds of the chaos behind him still grating on his ears. A woman's high pitched scream cut through the air, and it took everything within him not to turn back and see just what had happened to her.

Perry pushed the door open, a bell tinkling cheerfully overhead as the door jostled its mallet. Six people were seated at a round table in the middle of the room, glancing up at them curiously. "Knights of the round table," he addressed them sardonically, _"what the hell is going on?"_

* * *

For more than a half hour, the brightly lit store was full of griping and incredulous doctors. They phoned taxi cabs and filed complaints to Greyhound Lines, Inc., red-faced and panicked as they yammered into their cell phones. 

"Think we have enough radiation in here to kill everybody?" a gruff, cane-wielding doctor quipped cheerfully.

"There're enough baddies loitering _outside _to kill everybody in _here_," the peroxide blond said with an eye roll. "Twice," he added as an afterthought.

"Right," he remarked with a sneer, "I'm sorry. Could you explain that again?"

A redhead came up to them, gently touching Perry's shoulder. She smiled at him sheepishly. "Hi, I'm Willow," she introduced herself, handing him a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. "This must be really weird for you all…"

"And I'm guessing this is the epitome of normalcy for you?" Perry barked, peeling off the bottle's protective wrapper before unscrewing the cap.

"Pretty much," she replied with a shrug.

"Let me guess," the curly haired doctor went on, cleaning JD's wound with a soaked paper towel, "D&D convention gone horribly, horribly wrong? Or is it that sale at Sears that everyone's going gaga about? I'm pretty sure I heard something about this new vacuum on the market with new and improved sucking action. Goes straight for the jugular, too!"

"Uh, C? None of the above?" Willow offered, raising her eyebrows.

"Alright, Newbie, take your pick," Perry muttered, lifting the metal lid off of his first aid kit and pointing at the single spool of thread. "I've got black, black, oh, and black."

"I guess black will do," JD said with a resigned sigh.

Willow watched as the older doctor plucked the small spool of thread from the tin, pursing her lips. "What if I said you didn't have to do that?"

"Then I'd say that, no, no, your circular head will not fit in that itty-bitty square hole, no matter how hard you try to squeeze through," he deadpanned.

"What if I said if I could get that square hole to take shape of anything I wanted, and at the drop of a hat?" she asked him quietly.

Perry dropped the spool, staring at her incredulously. "Alright, I'll bite. What exactly are you going on about?" He touched his nose in an aggravated gesture before crossing his arms to his chest.

Willow gave him a wry smile before promptly touching her pointer finger to JD's cut. _"Sano,"_ she murmured.

JD jerked in surprise as a warm and decidedly not unpleasant sensation permeated over his injury. He gingerly touched his brow when the redhead withdrew her hand, his eyes widening when he found the laceration to be completely gone. "And the weirder things just keep on happening," he grumbled under his breath.

Perry leaned forward to inspect her ministrations for himself, hesitantly running the pad of his thumb where JD's laceration had been. "There's not even a scar," he remarked incredulously.

"That'll_ definitely_ top liquid band aids. You better get whatever that was on the market," the gruff doctor said, looking her over in wonder.

"Oh, it is," Willow said with a sheepish smile. "Just… The black one." She frowned. "The other black one," she said after a beat.

The blonde girl from before strode over from the round table, smiling brightly at them. "How's the culture shock going for ya?"

"Oh, it's still shocking away," a masculine voice said behind her, sounding tired and disoriented.

The man with the cane raised his eyebrows at him, smiling grimly. "What's the pollen like, busy bee?"

"Strange, alien, and a little sticky," he replied pensive frown.

The blonde gave an enthusiastic nod. "Yep! That sounds about right," she affirmed.

"People're complaining of their cell phones losing reception," he said. "Your television's getting a bit fuzzy, too."

"Does that still reek of normalcy, Good Witch?" Perry remarked, glancing at the redhead.

"That's just the tip of the big normalcy iceberg," she said consolingly.

"Does the iceberg have tentacles?" the gruff looking man sneered.

"And horns," the blonde said, wrinkling her nose. "And it spews green and icky stuff."

"Would you say it's more of a bread mold green, or a meadow after a rain?" JD piped up.

"Can this conversation get anymore inane?" Perry groused.

"Oh, I think it can," the blonde assured him sympathetically. "I have superhuman strength, I've died twice... Oh! My sister is a key, Willow's a gay witch, and that peroxide blond over there is a vampire. With a soul. And I've slept with him."

JD raised his hand timidly.

"Yes?"

He cleared his throat. "Um, I've seen some bad romance novels describe their ejaculation as 'cold'?" he asked wonderingly. "Is that--"

"Priscilla, now is _hardly_ the time to pick up on your outlandish sexcapades, mmkay?" Perry interjected. He gave a sharp whistle when JD's eyes began to glaze over.

"The safe word is 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis'," JD piped up matter-of-factly.

"It's safe to say that you'd be mildly violated by the time you got the word out," the gruff doctor said pointedly, producing a pill bottle from his jacket pocket. He opened it and tipped a capsule into his mouth.

"Buffy," a man in tweed sauntered over to their spot by the counter, "bad news."

The blonde pouted. "Is the world ending?" she whined.

"It's likely," he nodded, slipping off his glasses. "I-I've been listening to the radio, and the broadcaster's announced that there will be a solar eclipse at daybreak. It's unknown as to exactly how long it will last."

"I sense an impending 'but'," Willow said nervously.

"But," the man muttered unhappily, "the event is nowhere on the meteorological forecast, let alone the calendar."

The man with the cane uncapped his pill bottle again. "Christ, this place is worse than New Jersey."


	2. Blood Trails, Pt I

A/N: This is - as you may have guessed - AU. I'd say at the start of Buffy's season seven, sans n00b!Slayers.

* * *

JD tensed, holding his breath as he stared blindly into the darkness. He bit his bottom lip as he exhaled sharply through his nose, his throat tightening as his lungs burned for air. The thick silence within the room was suffocating - nearly on the brink of being painful - and when he finally opened his mouth to breathe, the heavy sigh that escaped his lips seemed to bounce off of the walls. 

"_HIC."_

JD let out a frustrated groan as the hiccup tore through him. He yelped as something warm and soft promptly smacked him in the face, and he bolted up from his spot on the floor.

"I swear to God, Newbie, if I hear another - "

"_Hic."_ The dark haired man stared up at the ceiling, his eyes wide and pleading. "It's not my fault my diaphragm keeps spazzing," he squeaked. He paused, turning his head in the direction of Perry's shadowy outline. "Have you been awake?"

He snarled. "Damn it, Janet. I will not - on principle - participate in any sort of pillow talk with you. _Ever_."

"Doctor Cox?" JD whispered. "Was that a Rocky Horror reference?"

A sound akin to a mouse in a blender - albeit with a much deeper voice - arose from Perry's throat. "Yes, JD, it was," he sighed resignedly. "Are we done with the pop culture trivia now? Because now's about the time where I roll over and feign sleep in the hopes that you take the hint and leave me alone."

He swallowed hard, raising the hem of the blanket to his chin. "I babble when I'm scared, too," he rasped.

"If you find me hovering over your svelte form and throttling you in the next five minutes, please keep in mind that the only person left to blame would be you," he growled.

JD tensed. "You think I'm svelte?" he blurted.

Perry heaved a weary sigh. "I've been awake," he said faintly.

"Is it more of a Kira à la Xanadu svelte? 'Cause I don't think I like the idea of me being a Janet Weiss svelte. She was kinda slutty," JD babbled. "Plus, I'd like to think you're more along the lines of Danny McGuire than Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I--"

"Because you are too dense to pick up on these things, Newbie, I'm going to go that extra mile and clarify that that sudden change of subject was just a cunning strategy to make you think that we are - as you've always wanted to put it - 'connecting' in some way, i.e. an invitation to talk about something else _other _than Broadway analogies. Unless my sociology class steered me wrong, that _is_ how you girls go about communicating, isn't it? Share your hopes and dreams and braid each others' hair?"

JD shuddered, imagining his mentor donning a pink onesie and braided pigtails whilst still in full-blown rant mode. "Doctor Cox, I don't think that shade of pink goes well with your complexion…"

Perry pulled JD's pillow from underneath his head and promptly whapped him across the face with it.

"Double owwie," he whimpered pathetically, sitting up and reaching for his stolen pillow. He heaved a dejected sigh and laid back down as it was smacked over his face. "I hate to sound like a sociologically generalized girl, but are these hostile acts the equivalent of male affection?" he muttered, his voice muffled.

"You do realize that I'm only a half-step away from suffocating you with the pillow that has conveniently arranged itself on your face."

JD snatched the pillow and tucked it underneath his head, facing away from the older man with a pout.

The door leading into the shop opened suddenly, and the two men raised their heads as dim light flooded into the training room and glinted off the crown of a peroxide blond head.

"You boys awake?" the vampire's sotto voice drifted over to their spot on the floor.

"Wide," Perry grumbled under his breath, running a hand through his curls as he sat up from his spot on the training mats.

"Wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" the blond asked, the smirk evident in his tone.

"God, no," Cox groused as JD sputtered unintelligibly. "What on God's green earth had you come to that conclusion?"

He turned on the lights, a smug grin on his lips. "Vampire here," he said by way of explanation, pointing his index finger to himself. "Hypersensitive… Well, everything." At Perry's blank look, he went on, "I overheard the throttling bit."

The older man rolled his eyes so hard that it wasn't difficult for JD to imagine them tumbling out of their sockets. "I meant _actual_ throttling," he said tightly, getting to his feet.

"Oh, I know," the vampire said cheerfully. "My ex was into that sort of thing." He frowned, tapping a finger to his lips in a thoughtful manner. "Actually, she was into a lot of things…"

"I'm pretty sure you have the wrong idea," JD squeaked.

"I'm evil," the blond stated, shrugging. "I have a lot of wrong ideas." He cocked his head towards the shop. "Come with me," he beckoned before turning round and disappearing through the door.

JD and Perry shared a befuddled look. "Is this one of them?" the younger man called after him as he pulled himself to his feet. He looked at his mentor with a nonchalant shrug before padding after the vampire.

They found the peroxide blond perched on the floor in front of the open shop door, a scraggly blanket pulled over his head. JD and Perry stood behind him, gazing outside. The air was cold and heavy with moisture, the sky cloaked with muddled clouds hued with subdued but warm reds and oranges.

JD noticed that there was a slight charge to the air, as if it were teeming with energy. He rubbed his forearms as a chill breeze wafted in through the door, carrying with it the discomfiting aura. The feeling it gave off was unsettling in ways he couldn't describe.

"You feel that?" he whispered. He glanced at the vampire's unmoving form. "What is that?"

He shook his head, lifting his eyes towards the sky. He glanced back at them, producing a glass bottle from under the blanket. "Drink?" he offered.

Perry glanced at the decanter warily, squinting at the label. "Johnnie Walker Blue," he mused. "A once in a lifetime solar eclipse and pricy whisky -- golly, you certainly aren't a cheap date. But I don't even know your name!" he remarked laughingly.

"I'm Spike," the vampire chuckled.

"Cute moniker," the older doctor mumbled under his breath.

"It's been broken in well enough over the last couple decades," Spike replied with a shrug. At their inquisitive stares, he explained, "I tortured people with railroad spikes."

"Ah," JD tittered, blinking at him in what he hoped was an expression of mild surprise and not stark horror.

"Yeah," the vampire sighed nostalgically, "those were the good ol' days." He uncapped the decanter, taking a swig before passing it to Perry. "And by good, I mean evil," he mentioned as an afterthought.

"Got it," JD muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. He jerked in surprise when something warm and wet met his hand.

"So what's the story with you--" Spike stopped abruptly, inhaling deeply. "Either one of you is bleeding or I've gone madder than I already am."

JD pulled his hand away from his neck and saw blood glistening on his fingertips. Spike and Perry looked at him in alarm.

"JD, I'm certain that if that wound there is still oozing, you'd probably be anemic by now," the older doctor said cagily.

"No," JD shook his head, wiping his hand on his pants. "It started up again for some reason. Which is weird, because it was hardly a scrape."

Spike frowned at the heavy scent of blood that filled his senses. "Something's not right," he said, voice low.

"Well, gee, I haven't noticed," Perry snapped, stalking his way towards the back room for his first aid kit.

"What's not right?" the younger doctor asked, looking at the vampire warily.

"There's something about the scent of your blood," the blond said slowly, frowning as his head started to spin. "It's… headier than anything I've ever smelled."

JD instinctively backed away. "I'm sorry to inform you that this buffet is closed," he chortled nervously.

The dark haired man and the vampire flinched as a startling boom shattered the quiet of the twilit sky, and the air shifted, the near-palpable energy suddenly crackling with life. Perry returned with his tin, his eyes fixed on the open door. The skies seemed to darken within seconds, the warm orange and red hues rapidly dissipating into nothing but ominous darkness.

"Where are the other doctors?" Perry asked the vampire as he mopped up the blood dripping down the slope of JD's neck. He grabbed the younger doctor's hand and pressed it over the gauze, which was becoming increasingly soaked by the minute.

"With Giles," Spike replied, pulling the scraggly blanket off his head and depositing it unceremoniously on the floor. He walked over to the counter and plucked the store phone from its cradle.

"Why isn't it clotting?" JD demanded, his voice cracking.

"Hell if I know," Perry snarled. He snapped his gaze towards him, looking alarmed. "Did you take any blood thinners?"

"No," JD replied, resisting the urge to panic when he tightened his hand around the gauze and found it to be thoroughly soaked.

Perry absentmindedly took it from him and replaced it with another, applying pressure onto the oozing wound. "Sit," he told him, following suit as the younger man lowered himself to the floor.

"Red," Spike barked into the phone. "Wake Buffy up and get your asses down here. Doctor Boy's spewing blood everywhere." He hung up and strode over to the other two occupants of the room, inhaling sharply as his eyes roved over JD's red-stained neck.

JD yelped as Spike dove forward suddenly, swabbing a finger over his throat and sticking it into his mouth. "I'm not a tasty treat!" he squawked, inching away.

"Relax," Spike grumbled under his nonexistent breath. He smacked his lips together, frowning thoughtfully. "Your blood's tainted."

JD's eyes glazed over as his overactive imagination propelled him into a daydream.

_He was tossing and turning in bed when the sound of shattering glass filled his bedroom. He shot up, propping himself up on his elbows only to find two vampires prowl in from the broken window. The tune of Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love'__ began to play as they clambered onto his bed, their lips spread into menacing, fang-filled grins._

"_Tainted blood!" they crooned along to the tune, pulling away from the bed to dance around it. "Touch me baby, tainted blood…"_

"Don't touch me, please!" JD warbled, yelping when Perry flicked him in the forehead.

Spike shot him an odd look. "Maybe I shouldn't have sampled you," he said with some uncertainty.

"No," Perry huffed. "This is unfortunately normal."

"Right," the vampire drawled. "You tripping on stuff?" he asked, curiosity peaked.

"No!" JD squeaked vehemently, averting his gaze, "I, uh, just have a vivid imagination, is all."

Spike fixed him with an incredulous stare, looking as though something had just dawned on him. "You imagined a vampire singing a twisted rendition of _'Tainted Love_', didn't you?" he deadpanned.

"It'd probably be a really awesome cover, and they'd play it at underground raves everywhere!" JD said defensively.

"I'm certain that the only underground rave they'd play it at would be your funeral if we don't find a way to get your blood clotting," Perry groused as he opened another packet of gauze.

The dark haired man stiffened. "Should I be heading to a hospital?"

"Have any witch doctors in your trauma centers?" Perry asked the vampire caustically.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Spike remarked. "But Red should be getting here soon, along with the rest of the Scooby gang."

They watched in tense silence as the skies continued to darken, being occasionally lit by streaks of lightning. Thunder pierced the air, setting off a few car alarms down the street.

"I'm getting tired," JD rasped, his eyes fluttering closed as a wave of exhaustion overtook him.

Perry nudged him with his elbow none too gently. "Don't you dare go to sleep, JD," he growled.

JD flinched as the hard jab jogged him from his bout of fatigue, but it was easily replaced with irritation and weariness as the pain began to fade away. His breaths deepened as he fought to remain conscious.

"Cavalry's here," a cheery, feminine voice piped up from the doorway. Buffy winced at the sight of JD. "How long has he been bleeding?"

"About fifteen minutes now," Perry replied gruffly. "Where's Good Witch?"

"I'm here," Willow's voice came up from somewhere behind them. She walked in from the back door, making a pit stop at one of the shop's many bookcases.

"His blood's tainted," Spike informed her as she took a seat on the floor beside JD, her arms filled with a couple of leather-bound books.

"How do you know?" the redhead asked, placing the books down on the floor.

"He sampled me!" JD exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the peroxide blond.

"You_ ate _him?" Buffy demanded shrilly, her hands coming to rest on her hips.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Don't be jealous, pet," he said with a leer. At her huff, he went on, "His blood's heady. Like, _really_ heady."

"Hence your loss of self-control?" Buffy countered, sounding annoyed.

"He didn't bite me," JD piped up weakly. "I was bit before, by one of those vamps who mauled our bus."

Willow lifted her eyes from the book she was skimming over. "This is really archaic," she said, her voice strained with awe. "I've read about this before. It's a sort of tracking spell that dates to the 1800s, primarily used by vampiric legions… Why they'd use it on JD, I'm not entirely--" She stopped, tensing. "Tracking spell… Th-The vampires! And the bus full of doctors!" she squeaked, waving her hands frantically.

"Sorry, I lost you at the sentence fragments," Perry remarked.

"Wait, if Spike can smell it…" Buffy murmured under her breath.

"So you're saying I'm like a big, flashing neon sign?" JD interjected.

"You _are_ a big, flashing neon sign," Spike grimaced.

"Spike, I need you to head over to Willy's as soon as the solar eclipse comes into full effect. Find out what you can about this conference," Buffy said, sliding easily into Slayer mode. "Will, you think you can reverse the spell before we get a legion of vampires on our asses?"

Willow nodded as she picked up one of the books from the floor, leafing through it. "JD, I'm gonna need some of your blood," she said apologetically.

"It's there for the taking," JD said with a shrug. He shot a look at Spike. "Except you. My blood's off limits!"

"But look at all that precious human blood going to waste! Do you know how much this hurts me?" the vampire whined.

"I'm sure I can hurt you much more," Buffy countered, crossing her arms to her chest. She rolled her eyes when he merely smirked at her.

Willow closed the book and got to her feet. "I'm just gonna get some supplies from the basement," she told them before heading further back into the store.

"Quick like a bunny!" Buffy called after her. "I think Spike's making googly eyes."

"Like a bunny," Willow affirmed resolutely before disappearing into the basement door.

"You call Watcher?" Spike asked, glancing over at the Slayer.

"He's on his way here with the other doctors," Buffy said with a nod.

"Oh goody, we get front row seats to the end of the world," Perry grumbled acerbically, nudging JD as his eyes fluttered closed again.

"Front and center," Buffy replied, grinning cheerfully.


	3. Blood Trails, Pt II

JD's eyes were glued to the arrangement of dried herbs gathered into a makeshift circle on the ground. In the middle of layout was a grinding bowl filled with an oily liquid he couldn't identify. He tilted his head to allow Willow easier access as she used the blunt end of a butter knife to scrape a sample of the blood that coated the side of his neck before dipping it into the liquid and stirring it in.

"This'd made an interesting cooking show," JD commented absentmindedly.

Willow giggled. "I'm not sure what kind of audience I'd be targeting."

"Probably fanatical twelve year old girls who watch too much 'Charmed'," he replied, a pensive frown on his face.

"You wouldn't be hinting at yourself, would you there, Newbie?" Perry said, raising his eyebrows at him mockingly.

JD tilted his head in thought, imagining himself donning a pink frilly apron and pig tails, an arrangement of prepared ingredients laid out on his coffee table as his television screen displayed in purple, curly font, _'Witching Hour With Willow!'_

"_Today we'll be fixing up a hearty helping of one of my favorite love spells!" Willow giggled, julienning what looked to be dried thyme. "Make him fall in love with you instantly! Don't believe me?" She wiggled her nose and winked, stirring the dark green sludge bubbling in her cauldron. "The proof is in the pudding!"_

JD's frown deepened. He tapped a finger to his lips as he watched the Wiccan light five blood red tea candles that were placed around the perimeter of the circle. "Huh, I always thought the proof was in _eating_ the pudding…"

Perry's brows crinkled in mock concern. "I-I think Abigail's increase in daydream activity could very well be correlated to the blood loss!" He shuddered and shook his head sharply as if clearing away a thought. "If that's the case, I don't want to know _where_ the blood goes on a regular basis."

"Don't worry, Doctor Cox," JD assuaged, "that category of daydreams is reserved only for -" he gestured air quotes " - 'me time'."

"By God, I think I need steel wool and bleach," Perry groaned.

"No need," a familiar masculine voice piped up from the doorway. "The remedy just requires some spit on your palm if lotion isn't readily available." The gruff doctor, Gregory House, and his colleague, James Wilson made their way into the shop. "Or you could just get your lapdog to slobber all over it for you."

Willow's eyes widened in realization. "Oh!" she squeaked. She pointed her finger at Perry and then at JD. "Are you guys--"

"No!" Perry protested with a groan as JD blushed hard despite all the blood he was losing.

"I'll give it a couple of days," Spike chortled.

"_What?!"_ JD squeaked, flailing.

"Oh, c'mon!" the vampire muttered. "The banter? The throttling? The sexual tension? The signs are all there!"

House nodded enthusiastically. "And judging by the evident blood play that's obviously occurred…" he trailed off, pointing to the bloody clumped up gauze within Perry and JD's vicinity. "Well, considering the situation, it's a match made in Hell."

Perry gritted his teeth and swiped his nose furiously as JD sputtered incoherently beside him.

"Okay, you guys," Willow tittered, "let's save the matchmaking for when the world isn't about to end, okay?"

JD raised his hand timidly. "I concur, but only if they pick a day that doesn't end in -day."

House grinned. "As fate would have it, the world's been thrust into a perpetual darkness. Quite romantic, really."

Perry exhaled hard, his nostrils flaring. "Dorothy, you will click your heels together _right now_ and you will snap out of this inane daydream, and when you do, I will punch you square in the nose as a painful reminder that you will ne-he-_hever_ bodily include me in your lucid fantasies ever again, capice?"

Willow closed her eyes, mentally blocking off the banter going on around her. She felt the heat of the flames emanate from their candles, first curling around her before delicately wafting to the grinding bowl situated in the middle of the circle. The smell of the herbs surrounding it became more poignant, and the oily liquid in the bowl began to glow a bright red. The Wiccan opened her eyes to find that their visitors had quieted and were watching her in awe.

The redhead frowned when the liquid's glow began to diminish, and the candles abruptly went out.

JD swallowed hard. "Is something wrong?"

Willow raised her head and glanced at him before she froze. She saw Spike and Buffy tense in her peripheral vision, and the three of them slowly turned their heads towards the open shop door.

Everyone followed suit, eyes widening in horror when two vampires wielding makeshift torches appeared at the door. In between them was a precariously swaying Giles, blood dripping into his eyes from an unseen head wound.

"I'd say something's definitely wrong," Spike remarked.

"I can't access the spell," Willow said quickly, her eyes darting from her best friend to Giles' injured form. "This has never happened before," she squeaked, her voice cracking in panic.

Buffy crossed her arms to her chest and sauntered towards the doorway, fixing the two vampires with a menacing glare.

One of the vampires inhaled sharply, glancing beyond the Slayer to eye the bleeding man slumped on the floor next to his colleague. "Give us the doctors or we kill him," he growled.

Buffy tilted her head at them thoughtfully before whipping her hand out to grab the one who had spoken by the collar of his dirtied shirt, yanking him towards her. He careened forward and smashed his head into the barrier keeping he and his partner outside, tumbling against it with a whimper and crumbling to the ground. Buffy took advantage of his incapacitated state and the other's shock, grabbing Giles by the arm and pulling him into the shop.

"Sorry," she told them, not quite sorry at all, "that's not in my agenda."

The other vampire recovered quickly, pulling his fallen partner to his feet before glaring at her. "You better make it part of your agenda," he said gruffly, his grip tightening on the torch. He cocked his head towards JD's weak form. "He won't stop bleeding anytime soon. I know how to stop it."

"How?" Buffy demanded while passing her Watcher over to Perry and Wilson.

The two doctors slowly lowered him to the floor, Wilson unbuttoning his dress shirt and pulling it off to wipe it over Giles' bloodied face. Willow scurried forward to heal him.

He smirked. "Nothing your little Wiccan friend can fix. It's got a blood signature on it. Only those from our legion can perform and reverse such spells."

Buffy eyed them skeptically before pivoting around and crossing the room to where JD and Perry sat on the floor. She knelt before them and fixed the older doctor with a determined stare before promptly plucking a strand of hair from JD's head. The younger doctor hissed, frowning at her.

"What in God's name are you doing?" the curly haired doctor asked incredulously.

"You're going with them," Buffy told him, tilting her head towards the vampires.

"Have you gone mad?" House interjected, staring at her in disbelief.

The Slayer rose to her feet and faced the other doctors, holding out JD's strand of hair. "We'll be able to locate you," she explained to them. "JD's going to bleed to death if we don't take some sort of action. I'm going to need you guys to cooperate."

"This is definitely not what I signed up for," Perry grumbled under his breath, glancing up at the ceiling beseechingly. He glared down at JD before grabbing him by the arm, pulling the younger man to his feet. "Always knew you'd fit the damsel in distress criteria, Rapunzel. I'll have you know that if I suffer anymore psychological trauma in this God forsaken place, I will not hesitate to blame you for the rest of my life."

JD grimaced as his vision swam, stumbling against his mentor's shoulder. "I suppose that's one way to leave a lasting impression on you," he sighed dejectedly.

"Oh, Newbie," Perry chortled condescendingly, "there's nothing I'd rather do right now than leave a lasting impression on your face. Now heel!"

Buffy tugged Spike to her by the sleeve of his leather trench coat as the doctors filed their way out the door. "You're going with them," she hissed. "Make sure they come out of there alive."

The peroxide blond raised his eyebrows at her before taking a step towards the door. "Doctor Strangelove reporting for duty," he said in mock-salute, winking at her before trailing after the doctors.

The two vampires brought up the rear, glancing behind them to sneer haughtily at the Slayer.

"Let this be a warning to you," the vampire in the dirtied shirt remarked, the corner of his lips quirking into a toothy half-grin.

With that, they tossed their makeshift torches into the shop and walked away.

JD froze, eyes wide as the torches hurtled through the doorway. He yelped as someone gripped his arm, frowning in confusion as he took note of the black nail polish and the tattered leather sleeve. "Aren't you going to help them?" he asked as the bleach blond began to drag him away.

"They can fend for themselves," he said in a low voice. "Stay far and away from me and just follow after these dolts like a good little sheep, alright?"

JD frowned as he watched Spike leave, wandering back over to Perry and the others. His mentor shot him a withering look upon realizing that he had strayed away, but he remained quiet.

The two vampires took the lead, speaking quietly to one another as they led the group of doctors to a black Ford E-Series van parked across the street. The one with the dirtied shirt unlocked the back door and pulled it open, cocking his head towards the vehicle cabin before fixing the doctors with a hard stare.

"Get in," he told them.

JD and Perry climbed in first, seating themselves in the second row of individual aisle seats. The vampire shut the door as Wilson and House occupied the seats directly in front of them before clambering onto the passenger's side. His partner started the engine and immediately put the car into drive, peeling out of the parking space and making a sharp u-turn that had the doctors hurtling out of their chairs.

"Jesus," Perry grimaced, gripping the armrests as the van swung tightly to the left before their driver finally corrected the swerve.

"Is not here," House muttered under his breath.

"Be quiet back there," the vampire in the passenger seat hissed.

"Mommy says no talking," House remarked with a sneer, "we better listen to her before she bursts a vessel."

"House," Wilson warned, frowning at him.

"What are they gonna do? Kill us?" he snorted.

"No, but I'm sure they have no qualms about maiming us half to death," the oncologist whispered shrilly.

"Doctor Cox…" JD gave a weak gasp, shutting his eyes tightly.

Perry faced the younger doctor, his eyes flitting to his pallid face. "Looking pastier than usual, Newbie," he quipped weakly, placing a hand to his sweaty forehead before grasping his hand.

"Clammy," he stammered, his eyes fluttering open. He kept his half-lidded eyes on his colleague, his breaths becoming short and quick.

"He's going into shock," Perry groused, glancing at the other doctors before looking past the windshield to survey their outside surroundings.

House leaned forward and tapped the arm of the vampire sitting in the passenger seat. "Hey, buddy," he said cheerily. "How long before this guy stops bleeding?"

"'til he's dead or until the solar eclipse passes," he replied with a shrug. "Whichever comes first."

House narrowed his eyes. "Neat little trick, the bleeding thing. Mind telling me the anatomy behind that?"

"Magic," the vampire replied with a toothy grin. "Me and Stephen here were just initiated into the legion," he said excitedly. "This is our first fledgling mission."

House glanced at Wilson, raising his eyebrows. He returned his gaze to the vampire. "How's that go, if you don't mind me asking?" he asked, trying to sound as innocuous as possible.

"That bleeding thing," Stephen piped up, looking through the mirror at the gruff doctor seated behind him, "isn't really a spell. It's a rite of passage passed down to all newly turned vampires."

"He's going to turn into a vampire?" Perry asked incredulously, snapping his gaze towards the rear view mirror. He frowned when he found that the vampire lacked a reflection.

"Nah, Boss said there's supposed to be a mutual exchange of blood for that," the other vampire said. "Anyway, this whole legion is recognized by a blood signature, which has mystical properties. When a Sire bites a potential Childe, something in the blood crystallizes in order to keep the wound open. It's so awesome. That's where the whole rite of passage thing comes in," he explained animatedly. "They leave you alone to bleed out for seven days, and if you're still alive by the end of it, they deem you spiritually strong enough to be part of the legion and they turn you."

"What exactly do you need _us_ for?" Wilson asked cautiously.

"Keep Sire alive," Stephen murmured, almost sadly. "He's really old. Boss said he had to kidnap a bunch of gypsies from Guatemala just to bring him back."

"Bring him back from where?" Perry asked in disbelief.

"Well, he wasn't exactly dead," the driver said, turning into a parking garage. "Maybe 'hibernation' is more like it."

Perry, Wilson, and House glanced at one another, their eyes wide with befuddled awe.

"Man, I hope that Slayer doesn't intervene," the vampire in the passenger seat grimaced. "Boss'll be so angry!"

Stephen pulled into a parking space and put the van into park before killing the engine. He and his partner got out of the van and opened the back doors, letting the doctors out.

"You guys gotta behave or else we'll have to eat you," the other vampire told them, his tone nonchalant.

A black blur suddenly dropped down from the roof of the car and landed directly behind Stephen. The doctors flinched as their driver's facial expression contorted in pain and shock, a small wedge of wood peeking out from the middle of his chest.

"Stephen!" the other vampire howled as the ash cleared, revealing a smug Spike.

The bleach blond grasped the remaining vampire by the scruff of his neck, pressing the stake to his chest warningly. "C'mon, sheep," he said with a smirk, "take me to your shepherd." He pushed the shell-shocked vampire forward, towards a flight of stairs.

"You're in our domain now," the scrawny vampire hissed. "Even if I pass away, my brothers will finish the job for me--"

"Quit with the mission statement," Spike grunted with an eye roll. "Let's go."

The other vampire huffed before making his way towards the staircase. Spike and the doctors followed after him.

"Stephen and Scrawny were surprisingly informative," House piped up as he limped his way down the stairs. "They were especially naïve for such evil creatures."

"Dolts are what they are," Spike snorted. "I imagine this legion isn't so different from a fraternity."

Perry shifted one of JD's arms over his shoulder and eased him down the steps, grimacing as the younger doctor's blood-soaked shirt seeped into his own. "The kid needs a gurney," he piped up. "He's going into shock. I'm gonna need to put him into the Trendelenburg position for a few minutes." He stopped abruptly in his tracks, earning a groan from the man that was practically draped over him. "Wait."

The group stopped, turning around to glance at him.

Perry nodded at the vampire in the dirtied shirt. "You said your blood has a crystallizing property, yes? So that means your dusty friend's blood has been incorporated into JD's."

"On the wound, yes," he answered nervously.

"_Only_ on the wound?" the curly haired doctor pressed.

The vampire nodded, glancing behind him and shifting apprehensively.

Perry gently ushered JD against the nearest wall, holding him upright by the shoulders. He placed his hand to the younger doctor's bloodied neck, tracing over the prominent bite mark on the jugular. He traced over each individual hole with his fingertips, frowning when he found that each entrance wound had a hard and calcified ring just a few millimeters beneath the skin.

"Spike," Perry addressed the peroxide blond with a wave of his hand. "Odd request," he grunted.

"What is it?" Spike asked, his eyes flickering over JD's bloodstained neck.

"Could you… Maybe chew around each of the bite marks? I think there're rings implanted there keeping the wounds open."

The bleach blond grimaced, slowly shaking his head. "I don't think I can, mate," he said apologetically.

"Why the hell not?" Perry demanded.

"The scent of his blood's gone all heady, remember?" Spike reminded him. "It's got some sort of mystical property that I don't know the ramifications of." He shrugged. "Plus, if I start, I just might eat him. The scent's fucking _alluring_. I can't even imagine how the taste will be."

Perry stared at JD's neck for several seconds before finally tearing his gaze away, glancing at Spike and then at the other doctors. He exhaled sharply through his nose, nodding to himself.

"What are you thinking?" Spike asked, his eyebrows pinched into a frown.

The curly haired doctor took a breath before propping JD against the wall once more. He swiped a hand against the younger man's neck, effectively wiping off the remainder of blood that hadn't gotten a chance to cake up on his skin.

JD blinked up at his colleague. "Doctor Cox…? What are you--"

Perry squared his shoulders, staring the younger man in the eye. "Tilt your head a little to the right for me, JD. And I swear to God, Newbie, if you so much as get turned on by this, I'm going to throw you in a dumpster and leave you to rot."

Wilson cringed in realization, looking at the curly haired doctor in horror. "Oh God, you're not going to--"

House's eyes widened as Perry lowered his face to JD's neck and began to gnaw at the younger man's throat with his anterior teeth. "He is."

"Oh,_ shit!_" JD howled out in pain, his hand moving up to grip the hairs at the back of Perry's neck. He threw his head back in an effort to move away, but only managed to slam his skull into the wall behind him.

Spike grinned as JD gave a pathetic whimper and sagged against the wall. The vampire turned round, waggling his eyebrows at House and Wilson. "Well, isn't this kinky?"


	4. On How To Be Fashionably Late

"You may as well admit your feelings to one another. There's no use beating around the bush seeing how you've already throttled and necked in the past few hours," House said with a playful leer. "You've even skipped the kissing part. You know, in some cultures -- particularly this one -- that's considered to be pretty trashy."

Perry grimaced as he tore his mouth away from JD's throat, spitting out blood. "I'm sure we'd get along just fine if you just _stopped talking_."

"I'd make a joke out of your play on words if I wasn't feeling so woozy," JD commented, his blush evident even in the darkness. "You know how you said 'in some cultures,' and how it could be taken medically? Like, blood cultures? Ha… ha…" He tittered nervously, bracing himself up against the wall.

"I just _love_ your ability to bounce back, really, but can we get going?" Spike snapped.

"Sonar check?" the curly haired doctor said, wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his hand.

"All I smell is regular blood. You got it all." Spike frowned, stepping closer with his index finger pointed at the other man's face. "Except for the little bit on your upper lip…"

He wiped furiously at it with a growl, following after the two vampires as they made their way down the staircase.

"You know, despite being 98.6 and all, you've really got this vampire thing down. Ever consider becoming one?" the scrawny vampire inquired.

"Come to think of it, you could be a potential candidate for Dr. Acula," JD remarked with an enthusiastic nod. He winced in pain, clapping a hand over his wound.

"I'd consider being a vampire only for the benefit of watching how fast I can break both of your necks," Perry snarled.

"This could still be a bad idea," Spike muttered.

"What could be a bad idea?" Wilson asked.

The bleach blond nodded over to the younger doctor. "Him bleedin' and all."

The oncologist frowned. "Apart from the whole medical factors, why's that?"

"Magical tracking device or no, he's still bleedin'. Still gives off a scent. Doesn't help that we're so close to home."

"We're still needed, aren't we?" Perry said matter-of-factly. "They can't kill us."

Spike snorted. "Oh, I bet they're stupid enough to."

The scrawny vampire led them down the last flight of steps leading them onto the ground level of the parking garage. The doctors and Spike watched as he ducked underneath a low cement barrier, his lower body wriggling as a metallic scraping noise sounded from inside the tight crevice.

"If you're trying to run away, mate, I don't mind breaking your legs off and beating you with them," Spike remarked lightly.

The vampire backed out of the small space quickly, bashing his head on the cement in the process. He hissed in pain, a large metal crowbar in his left hand. "Don't bite the hand that feeds, man," he groused, getting to his feet.

"You're not a very good host," House said blandly. "You mind telling us your name so I can stop referring to you as 'scrawny, idiotic vampire' in my head?"

"That'd be helpful," JD added with a nod. "It's getting kind of lengthy in my personal narrations."

House and Wilson gave him a curious look.

"I narrate my own life in my head," JD said bashfully.

"I think you'd better get checked into the looney bin, 'cause last I checked, that's a definite symptom of schizophrenia," the pill-popping doctor said.

"M'name's Larry," the vampire grumbled, walking past them to walk through the exit door.

The gang followed him around the perimeter of the building until they came to a manhole in the asphalt. Larry got on his hands and knees, hooking the metal teeth of the crowbar into an accommodating hole in the plate. He heaved it open and it toppled over with a loud clatter. One by one, with Larry at the front and Spike taking the rear, they clambered into the hole.

"Ick," JD muttered as sewer water sloshed around his ankles, wrinkling his nose. "There aren't rats here, are there?"

"Too easy, Nancy," Perry grunted as he made his way down the ladder. He wiped his hands on the front of his pants. "Could ya be less of a girl? 'Cause after five odd years, trust me, the whole thing gets pretty monotonous."

House grinned at Wilson. "Aw, look. We're really hitting the milestones today, huh, boys? Couple's first fight. I knew I should've bought those disposable cameras."

Perry glared at the other doctor. "You know, I don't normally beat cripples, but I can make an exception."

He shook two pills into his palm, tilting them back into his mouth as he unhooked his cane from the top step of the ladder. He winked. "I don't know about you, but that sounds a lot like cheating to me."

Perry made a face and followed after Larry, stomping angrily through the puddles. "God, I hope you turn into a vampire so I can have the pleasure of staking _you_…" he trailed off under his breath.

Larry outstretched an arm to bar him as the both of them approached a corridor. "Hold on, buddy."

He glared at the scrawny vampire before looking down patronizingly at the arm held up to his chest. "That's _Doctor_ Buddy to you, bumpkin." He rolled his eyes as Larry slowly lowered his arm. "Why are we stopping?"

"Makin' a quick sweep of the place," Larry replied, glancing to the left and right of him. "They have kids on patrol here, intermittently. This is considered to be a sacred area now, you know."

"_Why?"_ Perry demanded. "You are aware that this is a foul-smelling sewer, right? The only sacred thing about this place is its ability to send you straight to the afterlife just by going straight for your smell cells. Probably goes right to the brain, for that matter."

"_Any _place where Sire is is considered to be sacred," Larry said in a hushed whisper, lowering his eyes.

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Alright, make your sweep quick before I sweep you."

"What's he doing?" Wilson asked as he watched Larry head down one corridor, peering behind a grated metal wall.

"Scouting out the rest of the scouts, apparently," Perry said. "Some of 'em patrol this area to keep intruders like ourselves out, I guess."

"Sounds like this is where the party's at," House drawled. "You sure he's not alerting the scouts of where we are so they can give their guests a more terrible welcome?"

"I'd sense 'em, anyway," Spike said as he came up behind them. He paused, frowning.

"Do all of you come with some sort of homing device?" Wilson asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

The bleach blond grinned at him. "Here they come."

JD frowned, glancing around. "I don't hear anything."

Spike's grin widened. "Wait for it."

The entire group froze as a they heard several footsteps running through ankle-deep water. Spike smirked, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around Larry's shoulders as he tossed his Zippo behind him. JD caught it, fumbling with it slightly before flipping it open and thumbing the metal flint-wheel.

The flame threw light over the small, cramped area. Behind Larry and Spike, they could see a horde of vampires standing at the ready.

"Oh, you think you're so clever, don't you?" Perry spat at the scrawny vampire.

"I think your contract's just about done," Spike said nonchalantly, staking Larry.

* * *

"Wills, you have that locator spell ready?" Buffy asked, tossing a duffel bag full of weapons over her shoulder.

Willow gave a mock salute. "Yup. Just waiting on orders."

"Great," the Slayer said absentmindedly. "Get it started. We're leaving in a few."

"No pressure," Xander remarked, giving the witch a smile.

Willow took the strand of JD's hair and dropped it into a ceramic bowl, her hands moving quickly as she dropped the necessary ingredients in for the spell. Dropping in an enchanted match, all of the contents in the bowl immediately caught fire, burning a bright, ethereal light. Orange fire leaked out of the bowl and crawled across the parchment paper Willow had set up before it. Fire-red inscriptions sprawled across the entire paper.

Xander raised his eyebrows, looking impressed. "Who needs a GPS when you've got magic?"

Willow smiled, plucking the paper up off of the floor. "Let's go."

Willow, Buffy, Xander and Anya piled into the Citroën with Giles at the wheel.

"They're under Sunnydale Hospital," Willow said, perusing the parchment paper. "I've seen this map before, when I used to hack into City Hall's town map. It's a layout of the sewers underneath the hospital. I think they're headed for the basement."

"Wills, you might quite possibly be the cutest criminal I've ever seen," Xander chortled.

Giles drove off towards Sunnydale Hospital and stopped just outside of the ER doors.

"We'll get out from here," Buffy told him, opening the door. "Just stand by." She glanced up, surveying the area. Quickly, she pointed off to a parking garage. "There! Park on the lower floor, by an exit, preferably. I have no idea how JD is doing in terms of health, so we could probably rush him out of here as soon as we can."

"I like how we're talking about driving a potentially injured person away from a hospital," Anya piped up.

Xander blinked. "You know, she's right. You'd think we'd have a couple of witch doctors in town."

"Hey!" Willow said vehemently, closing the car door. "I'm as good as a witch doctor as anyone! Didn't you see Giles' head wound? Of course not! 'Cause I did a darn tootin' good job!"

Buffy smiled, waving Giles off as he started to pull away. "Hey, _I_ wasn't doubting your abilities. Now lead the way, Witch Doctor."

Willow beamed before looking down at the map again, taking the lead.

They walked around the perimeter of the building before coming to a sloped wall basement door that the map indicated was their via point. Buffy tugged one of the doors open, turning on her flashlight as she made her way down the steps.

The first thing that greeted them was chaos. A few feet away, a bruised up Spike was holding down the fort, the doctors standing a ways behind him. Everywhere the bleach blond turned, there was another vampire leaping forward to greet him.

"Well, you're late," House hollered upon recognizing them.

"Hey, at least I'm fashionably late," Buffy scoffed, whipping out a crossbow from her bag.


End file.
